I like confusing titles. Such as the above. This evening finds me still somewhat ill. I have no clue what I have, I can best describe it is the shakes accompanied by cold sweats. Cold sweats are not totally unkonwn to me. I spent several years with them daily. Every night my friend the cold sweats would return and every morning I would wake up with a drenched pillow. I explain it the following: Even though my immune system is compromised the body finds other ways to fight infections. Kicking the body temperature up a notch or two tends to help the body fight infection. It is the bodies backup plan when plans A and B fail. I guess plan C worked. I am still here. :)
So, now that I have disclosed information that you really did not need to know...I had quite the adventure today. I had a speaking engagement with 30 or so soon to be nurses. (Bloom County fans: remember the planet of single nurses?) I was scheduled to speak at Lakehurst Naval Air Station. All you locals, Bennies and Shoebies, know about Lakehurst. But for all my friends afar, Lakehurst is where they used to dock Airships and blimps. It is now a dying naval facility that is being kept alive by employees that need a job, and politicians that need a cause. I do think it is has tome great points that keeps it vital to the United States. I believe it is a Defense Facility now more than it is a Naval Facility.
Most notable in Lakehurst History is the Hindenburg. I posted earlier about my Dad and the Hindenburg. He saw it flying above and across the Lakewood golf course heading toward Lakehurst. They used to store Airships and Blimps inside Hangar One. I have to share with all. Hangar One is the most impressive and largest structure I have ever seen. It is more daunting than the Empire State building or the Statue of Liberty. Picture...this large structure that just springs out of the trees in the middle of nowhere. That is Hangar One. Currently Hangar One is used for schooling. Vocational schools mostly. It used to house a replica of an aircraft carriers flight deck and they would test aircraft launching and arresting gear. I am not so sure it is used for that anymore.
Well, today I was scheduled to speak in Hangar One. A labryinth of class rooms are located inside the hangar and I have been there several times before. I have not spoken there since September 11th. I drove there with two young Social Workers that are doing their internship throught he Ocean County Health Department. I was warned ahead to make sure I had all the right credentials for my car and myself.
We arrive at the gate and we are greeted by a guard wearing a mask like Hannibal Lechter I should have knows then that things were not going to go easy. The Hannibal Lechter guy sends me througha maze of concrete barriers to another position under a tent where we were instructed by another guard to leave the vehicle, open all the doors, glove compartment, trunk and hood of the car. Mind you...it was about 40 degrees with no sun...and the wind chill must have been around 20. So, the girls and I vacate the car. I am not complaining, I totally understand the need for security. However,....
...the guard gets to the hood of my car. He looks very intently around the engine and searches the engine. He gets to the drivers side....and he points at a can. A coffee can is bolted inside my car.
Guard 1: What is this? pointing at the can.
Me: I don't know?
Guard 1: It is your car, what do you mean you don't know?
Me: I mean, I don't know. (in my least sarcastic voice which many of you know is next to impossible)
Guard 1: (speaking into walkie talkie) Guard 1 to base, we have a situation, Over.
Base:We receive you Guard 1, this is base, explain the situation.
Guard 1:I have an unidentified...
Jennifer:(one of the girls I am with) It looks like a coffee can.
Guard 1: Base, it looks like a coffee can.
Base: A what?
Guard 1:Base we have an unidentified coffee can.
Base: Guard 1, we are unsure of the situation, help is on the way.
Guard 1: (to us) folks please move away. (he sends us about 30 feet away from my car.)
Hannibal Lechtur arrives.
Hannibal: What's the prolem? (Guard 1 points at the can)
Hannibal Lechtur: (Looks at me. I wet my pants.) What is this?
Me:(gulp) I don't know.
Hannibal Lechtur: What do you mean you don't know. It's your car.
Me:(with a lot less sarcasm than I had before) I mean, errr, really, I don't know.
Hannibal: (Looking at the can) Looks like a coffee can.
Guard 1:Looks like a coffee can.
Hannibal: Call the dogs.
Guard 1:Dogs are already on their way.
Hannibal Lechtur: (looks at me) Buddy, if this turns out to be nothing, and I hope it is nothing, I would find out what that is....
Me:(trying not to wet my pants any more) Yes sir. (In the most respectful voice I could summon.
Guard 1: Should only take a minute for the dogs.
Dogs Arrive.
Dog Man: Hello. What is the situation?
Guard 1: The coffee can right here.
Dog Man: (Looks at me) What is it?
Me:(sigh) I don't know.
Dog Man: What do you mean you don't know? It is your car.
Me: (growing brave) Really...I have no clue what it is. I have only owned the car for 6 months and this is the second time I have opened the hood.
Dog Man:(Takes the Dog around he car Dog sniffs everywhere. Gets to the coffee can. Dog passes right by it.)Dog man looks at me: That is a good sign.
Dog Man: Looks like it is a coffee can. Buddy, If I were you, I would see your mechanic and find out what that is....
Me:You bet.
This took about 25 minutes. We finally made it to the class a little late....
The presentation went well.....but I still have to find out about that coffee can.....................