Matt's Blog

Pulled Over in Long Branch

            Amidst this Christmas memory I cannot recall the feelings of stress or pressure. All things totaled, one would deduce that I should have been crumbling from the strain. Cindy was in the hospital, my main vehicle was dead, I was not sleeping, there was little money, I was still working, and my children needed care. There was always the burden of unpaid utilities and rent. I have no recollection of any negative feelings or impending doom. Maybe I was numb, I do not know. My normal nature, due to my beliefs and relation with God, is to be joyful and content. The peace of God is a gift from the Holy Spirit. But this Christmas was quickly going downhill. I do not recall doing any Christmas shopping. All of my “credit cards” were maxed from a prior family vacation. Victimizing the boys, Cindy and myself was never an outlet and I would never make my money burdens known. I’m a giver, never a taker.

By this time all three boys had been placed in different locations. Nicholas was 5, he was at my in-laws. That was the only place for Nick to go. He was a young handful. I remember Toms River Schools sending a bus specially to pick him up. Justin was 18 months. He was splitting time at three different homes, the Woods, Thorpes and Kerchevals. Justin was carted around like a young prince with his portable play pen which also served as his crib. Andrew, 5 months, was with a family that had just started visiting our church. They were kind people and the husband was killed in a fluke electrical accident just few years ago.

I would work during the day and then make my rounds to visit each child. I would then go to the hospital to spend time with my wife. These days in the Month of December of 1993 were very long. My days became ritualistic and that was one of the driving mechanisms to my own sanity.

So, how did I get around? We had two cars. Earlier in the year Cindy had stopped driving. Her 1990 Honda Civic sat in our driveway. It was a small car and we barely used it. I feel fortunate that we still had it even though I was missing payments regularly. The Civic was re-commissioned and it served readily. One day close to Christmas I gathered all the boys to bring them to the hospital. I wanted to give Cindy a spark. It seemed she had been ill for an eternity.

I had the boys planted inside their car seats, Nick and Justin in the back and Andrew in his portable car seat in the front, I drove to Monmouth Medical Center. It was one of those typical New Jersey December days. A cold gentle breeze was present with the sky overcast and no hint of sun. There were occasional snow flurries with no significant snow accumulation. We arrived in the town of Long Branch driving along Second Avenue. Just as I was about to make a left turn into the hospital parking lot I looked in my rear view mirror, my heart dropped. Behind me was a Police cruiser with its red lights flashing, every driver’s worse nightmare.  With my heart in my throat I pulled over.

Along side my car walked the Officer. He asked me for my driver’s license, registration and insurance cards. I handed them to him still wondering why I was being pulled over. It is here that Nick woke up and began to get real excited about the Policeman. Definitely more excited than me. He was twisting and turning and trying to get his best view of the Officer. The Officer came back to my driver’s side window. Nick stuck his head out from the rear of the car. I can still see his smiling face. I don’t think it had much effect on the Officer. He informs me he pulled me over for doing 45mph in a 30mph zone. He then looked at me closer and said,  “Do you have anyone that can pick you up? Your cars registration is expired and I will have to tow your car.”  I died in my seat.

When we parked the Honda, I failed to keep up on the registration. It was six months overdue. I put my head down. I got out of my car and began to empty the car of my children. It was harrowing and the day had grown even colder. It was at this point that I knew I had no one to be mad with, not even myself. These were life circumstances that manage to happen when we pay more attention to things that are indeed important. At the time many things were second to my wife. I was only one person and sometimes not everything worked out. The Honda was a plate that I neglected to spin. As a spinning plate goes, it was ready to hit the ground.  I was getting Andrew out of the front seat the officer came back. “Sir,  I just spoke to my Commander. He said as long as your insurance was current you can leave. But we cannot promise you what will happen if you get pulled over again in another town.”

I was very grateful. I began to re-pack the boys the Officer asked me why I was up here in Long Branch. I told him my wife was ill in the hospital. He said he thought that was the case. He then said to me,” When I spoke to my Commander I told him I thought you were visiting your wife in the hospital. I really didn’t know that was the case. However, the Commander’s wife is in the hospital too. So he wanted to cut you a break. He knows how you feel.”

I began to weep. Tears flowed uncontrollably. I thanked the Officer. I asked him to thank his Commander. I got into my car and was very aware of what just transpired. I was just given mercy for a crime I was not even aware of that I was committing. Grace was being bestowed and I took it. A man that I could not see empathized because he walked in similar fashion. I was in awe of the parallels with Christ. I drove to the parking garage grateful for being forgiven and very eager to see my wife.