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Life's Paradox: To Have Found God and Still Pursue Him
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Beauty and the Beast (pt 1)

As a young man I dated a lot. Looking back, I dated a lot. Did I mention I dated a lot.  I had the same girl friend for 5 years. Then a crazy woman for 1 year who I allowed to break my heart three times.  I was dumb. I was in love.  Oh....yeah...those terms dumb and in love really mean something. 

Then I went through a lot of dating.  Just looking for the right woman.  At the time all the Christian woman in my life were either too old or too young.  It was kind of funny.  So...I dated non-Christians, and when you are committed it is oil and water.  Friends of mine that are non-Christian do not understand and I cannot seem to find ways to explain it to them.  In the period of July of 1991 I dated three woman casually but this is the one that really caught my eye and a double bonus,I met her in church and she was a Christian.

       Tall, beautiful, with dazzling straight teeth and smile.  Cindy was an unclaimed flower.  I always looked around thinking, maybe it is just me.  Maybe she is really ugly and I cannot see it.  Why was this woman single?  Well, it might have had something to do with Mr. Happy. He is the small man Cindy is holding.  I am just kidding.  Nick is two years old in this picture.  It is taken at Allaire State Park.  This is on our first dates.  Obviously he cannot wait for me to become his new Dad.  If you look on Cindy's arm, there is a Seiko watch that I gave her.  She treasured that watch. Please note Cindy's arm.

Well, things progressed.  We fell in love.  I will not get into sad details just happy ones today.  You see today is my Thirteenth Year Wedding Anniversary.  Cindy Ann and I were married February 1, 1992.  Now for all of my friends that wonder what I look like. 

  There I am and there is my lovely new wife.  This picture is taken right before six hundred pounds of bird seed was thrown at us.  I was pulling bird seed our of my nose and ears for days. You cannot tell, but it was freezing.  The wind was really blowing and anyone that knows my wife knows how much she hates the cold.  Matter of fact I wanted to go skiing on our honeymoon and she said then I would be the only one going on the honeymoon.  I reconsidered.  I was looking forward to staying warm too.

  Yeah.  We had TWO receptions.  One for our Ocean Christian Community Church family because we loved them so much.  And then another for family and friends later.  Hey...some really made out and came to both.  I happened to be one of them. 

  No comments about how short I look.  Cindy threatened to wear high heels.  She was 5'10.   This was the first and only time she ever wore makeup.  I told her she looked like a Japanese Geisha.  It was very uncharacteristic.  (I hope Geisha isn't whore)  Did I forget to mention Cindy was three months pregnant here? (Mentioning this really disappointed some Christian friends of mine.  I promise I will do it differently next time.)  I also was battling re-occurring mono.  We both slept most of our honeymoon. 

 Here is a much better picture of Cindy without make-up.  She really was a natural beauty with perfect coloring.  She never liked contacts which I considered a blessing.  Nicholas got his huge eyes from his Mother, which were well hidden beneath her glasses.

  Of course Cindy loved Nicholas.  When I first met Cindy I was not so sure I was going to be allowed into their private little club.  There was always the appearance the only Cindy could handle Nick, but that was never the truth.  God timed my coming.  His plans are perfect.  These two people above are very special.  I would do whatever possible to make both of their lives enjoyable.  Sometimes I wonder if God made the right choice.  I look around and I see so many other great men.  I'm a lot of bad things. I fall short in a lot of ways.  Sometimes I look back and I feel I did nothing but bumble my way through Cindy's illness.  There are moment's of despair that I wonder did I make all of the right decisions.  Would Cindy be here now if I made just one decision different?

That is really bad thinking.  For the time I did everything that I possibly could.  I promised Cindy anything she wanted.  Anything.  Like the true Spiritual Giant  she was, she replied,“ I only want to spend time with you.“      

So Cindy....Happy Anniversary.  I spend it with thoughts of you wishing you were here.  I'm getting ready to pop the video in.  Getting ready to see you turn that corner again, and have my stomach turn.  I can close my eyes and feel your hands trembling again as Cyrus and Terry sang Amazing Graze to open our service.  I remember you whispering your vows and the Unity candle that barely lit and Robert's (The Pastor) boyish laugh when he paralleled our marriage to the “Beauty and the Beast.“  Well for the most part he was correct.  You were indeed the beauty...that no one can deny...and the Beast...well...the Beast just kind of carries on....  he has other work.....

Other Work....TO Come

 

Print | posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 11:27 PM

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