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Life's Paradox: To Have Found God and Still Pursue Him
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Nick to Virginia

Nick finally went to Virginia on Wednesday. He didn't fly. A cost analysis in the end showed that it was cheaper to drive. This was also to my benefit because I was allowed to be a passenger on the trip riding with the Social Workers. We drove from Brisbane to Portsmouth Virginia. That is where one of "The Pines" facilities is located. I was really surprised to find that the facility is in the middle of a minor city. More on that later.

It was touching when we left Brisbane. Many of the staff had adopted Nick as their own. They had all genuinely made Nick their child for the time he was there and with great professional knowledge tried to help evaluate and adjust him. There were great changes in Nick. I do not think that he is so quick to hit, however, his anger and mood swings still remain very unpredictable, and...sigh....scary.

Nick traveled in an unmarked State Police Car escorted by two Human Services Police Officers. (State Police) I think he enjoyed it. I think he enjoyed the fact that people looked at him...and wondered. I think he felt "dangerous". I think he felt like a "gangsta". Sigh...my Wannabee son. My Wannabee son that I fear may one day fulfill what he so desires to be. It is frustrating because with all of the amount of love, teaching, and faith surrounding him, Nick still wants to hurt people. Probably because he hurts. I cannot tell you how long the trip took.

I traveled in a van behind the police car. I was with two wonderful social workers. Young and with only one year after gradual ting college both had seen enough social injustices that they both confessed that they are immune to situations that they are called to walk into. (Beaten children, Households, Dysfunction, Etc.) Without even knowing this they confessed this sadly to me. I never told anyone that I was involved in ministry and have seen many such tragic family circumstances. But I always pray that I never lose compassion...I pray that it never becomes....just a job. Is that the difference between paid ministry workers and volunteers? This is a reality in ministry. What happens after you have seen it all? Will you be the same person you once were. I think there is a maturity that should come....but compassion....should always be there.... God is Good. Always.

Well, I sat on this hard bench for 7 hours. It was my price for the trip. My Father has the same van....and I never realized how uncomfortable the benches were. The good news was that I did not have to drive. I was with people that I just had met and I remained very emotionally stable. Had I driven with close companions and with Nick...I would have been a mess. We got to Virginia...and I will tell you more about that in my next post....

Print | posted on Saturday, September 03, 2005 5:33 AM

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