I am still processing what happened on my trip to Virginia to visit Nick. It was not just a social visit, it was a visit to find out more about the facility and its staff. At fist it was very disconcerting. As I mentioned earlier in another post,my friend and Pastor, Bill Meyer, came along. He thought I was coming apart lately because of Nicholas and perhaps I was delusional.
I had known almost nothing about where Nick was and during phone calls I was unable to get any real information. Many times was unable to reach Nick and when we would talk all he wanted to do was come home...because it was boring.
No info, nor quality person to connect with or talk with, and Nick's incessant calling and complainant was making me very, very concerned. My prayers to God...were about was I listening correctly? Were these the doors that you were opening? Should I have just said No to this facility? At the time, no one in New Jersey would accept Nick. 9 places - 9 rejections.
When I dropped Nick off in Virginia...I was not there that long...the power was off in more than half the building, and the people I traveled with...two police officers and and two case workers...were fairly insensitive to what was going on. One police officer said to me... “I have noticed that you are a very quiet guy”. Not the truth. I am quite talkative. Not just when my son is being dropped off in Virginia for an undisclosed period of time.
The first time I was at the facility I was only there for 20 minutes to a half hour. Greeted...given a very small tour....and then returned home.
This time...Bill and I arrived in 7 hours. We were there for 10 minutes....we got to see Nick and ask some questions, then Nick's therapist says, “ok...you guys can say goodbye and come back and see Nicholas tomorrow before you return to New Jersey. Doh! Bill had evidence that I was not going crazy. We had been shuffled and treated like a couple of yokels. But we were there for information and to talk to people. I wanted to know what was going on with my son...and see the facilities where he was staying. I had made that clear to Nick's therapist and she never made the proper arrangements. It was very badly handled. I was not leaving until we saw someone substantial. We finally were able to see someone that was in charge of Nick's daily care.
For an hour we were able to ask questions and find out more about the facility. We asked to see where Nick lived...and we were turned down again. It really felt fishy. We were able to get an appointment with the one of the facility managers scheduled for the next day.
She was wonderful. I was able to ask the questions I needed answering we got a very grand tour of the building. It ended with us seeing Nick's room, very similar to a college dorm room, and meet with Nick in the area he lives. I felt much better.
The ending to this story. Nick's care is substantial. The facilities are built to meet all of his needs and he is doing very well. I really had to bully my way to meet the people I needed to see but my son's safety and care is my number one concern. I can take many guesses about why I was not able to get the information that I needed. An inept therapist is my first guess. She has only been there since August 1...and never gave me very good information. She made it clear that she was my number one contact...which was not true. I do not know why she did that...I do know that she is Nick's case worker and therapist and perhaps I have to pray in a better qualified person. The therapist and I are off to a shaky start. Perhaps she is not used to the parents being as involved as I would like to be. Well...I am, and that is not going to change.
Nick is safe, dry, and in a facility that functions to meet his needs. That is what I gathered. We are now looking ahead at what happens with Nick when he graduates from this facility. A time for another blog entry.
Please continue to pray with me...it is the number one way we get things done.