We just had our full weekend visit with Nicholas. Picking him up in Norfolk was interesting. Everything we wanted to do, stop and eat, he was extremely indifferent, almost in a controlling passive way. It was how most of his weekend went. He broke our rules a few times and we had a really bad incident once, it was all vintage Nick and it tears my heart to say that he is far from ready to ever come home. He needs constant supervision. Whenever we asked him a question he would shut down and tell us to stop bugging him. It was more out of frustration because, Nick is not a deep thinker, and he gets frustrated trying to figure out things beyond his means. His concepts of time and money are very warped. He did care endlessly about how I felt.
The trip to Norfolk went well. Around 14 hours total. However, the next few days it must have really hit me hard, because I got ill. Up chucked 4 times, which is something I just do not do. Driving is out for me.
Nick ended up staying longer and flying home to Norfolk on an airplane out of Philadelphia. It was the first time he had ever been on a plane and his comment to me was that, “It flew very low”. No energy or excitement about it being his first air trip.
Alas, the game plan for Nick has not changed. He is going to have to have supervised living with visits home as his little vacations. Long term at home will not work. It makes me sad, but I know it is true. The One incident we had escalated to violence...dangerous violence. Keenly that is what influence Sue's and Mine decision.