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Life's Paradox: To Have Found God and Still Pursue Him
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I am not sleeping well.  Racing thoughts fill my head and I cannot fall asleep.  I have not filled my Ambien in awhile.  I wanted to kick the habit.  However, a side effect or all my medications is "May cause sleeplessness".  So, for years I have taken Ambien.  Funny things though happen in the middle of the night.  I get up, almost sleepwalk and make three course meals and eat them.  I do not eat regular meals either.  I eat like a pregnant woman.  Salami sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.  This really weird eating pattern has troubled me.  When I binge in my sleep......there is not enough food in my fridge to feed me.  One craving follows the other.

I have thought about changing meds.  But, l have heard that other sleep meds have similar side effects. 

When I speak in schools, I talk about my med situation and their sideffects.  That I take medication to manage the side effects of the medication I take for my HIV.  In the past, it is not unusual to take othe meds that manage the side effects of the meds that I taking to manage the side effects of the meds that I am taking to manage my HIV.   Hence....my protease inhibitors cause me pain (neuropathy) and I take medication to manage that side effect  But the pain medication causes me side multiple side effects that I take other meds to manage those side effects.  Go ahead.....just call me wimp.  But, my side effects are very real, bothersome, and poignant.  I depend on my meds.

On a Christian note.  Does the taking of medication diminish God in my healing?  I have prayed and been prayed for multiple times.  I know that I am in the prayers of people that pray every day and faithfully.  So, if it comes to having to take a medication to manage a side effect ...I take it.  God provided the way and the wisdom. 

Print | posted on Monday, March 26, 2007 5:01 AM

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